Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Barack Obama '08 is George Bush '00

Dear Democratic Party,

You guys (and gals) are out of your (well intentioned) minds.

Today Barack Obama announced he was filing exploratory paperwork and considering a run for President. You need to stop his silliness right now.

Barack is as ready to be President of the United State as George W. Bush was in 1999. Yes, that's right - George W. Bush.

Remember 1999? Bill Clinton was at the end of his final term and Clinton fatigue had settled over the country. The Republican Party, so tired and disgusted after 8 years of Bill, was desperately searching for someone, anyone, who was the anti-Clinton.

Along came the plain speaking Cowboy Governor of Texas who talked of compassionate conservatism and restoring dignity to the office of the Presidency.

Restoring dignity, ah what a campaign platform!

The Republican Party (and then the whole country) brushed aside questions about the Cowboy Governor's lack of experience: "Experience? Shit boy, W has had two terms as Texas' Governor and their ain't nothing finer than Texas!"

Then the Republican Party (and then the whole country) brushed aside questions about the Cowboy Governor's campaign platform: "Issues? Shit boy, W has said he's for restoring dignity to the Office of the Presidency. Ain't that enough? What are you, a Log Cabin Republican?"

We all know how the Cowboy Governor worked out.

Which brings us to Barack.

In 2007 this country has a serious case of Bush fatigue. Both political Parties (and everyone in the country with the exception of Barney and Laura) are looking for an anti-Bush in '08.

Along comes the plain talking Senator Hunk of Illinois who talks of "a different kind of politics" and the nation's "hunger for change".

Said Senator Hunk when he filed the exploratory paperwork today:

"I certainly didn't expect to find myself in this position a year ago. I've been struck by how hungry we all are for a different kind of politics. So I've spent some time thinking about how I could best advance the cause of change and progress that we so desperately need."
Hallelujah! This HAS GOT to be our man! What depth. What detail. What Compassionate Liberalism!

Obama's for C-H-A-N-G-E!

Give me a C...

And, just as the Cowboy Governor was a proud hick beloved by his hick loving activist base, Senator Hunk is a proud African-American beloved by limousine liberals activists who would no longer have to snag token black friends from corporate America if Barack were to run.

Ah the irony.

And so my Democratic Party friends I ask you, can we really afford another 8 years of Compassionate anything?

To put it another way, what are Obama's issues? I don't know and you don't either.

In the world we live in, having a President who is policy-lite is not a good thing.

Write Robert Gibbs and David Axelrod a letter and tell them how you feel. They'll still love you in the morning.